Eternal Gift
by SassyJazz
Summary: 20 year old Ryan plans to propose to Marissa, but what will get in the way? Chapter 9 updated! If ever you've loved Ryan and Marissa, you'll like this chapter!
1. Prologue

**Hey everyone! I have been planning this story more over two weeks now. This is a ten-part Ryan and Marissa fan-fiction about something that I want to happen between them someday! (Josh Schwartz, be reading this please!) I really hope you enjoy it!**

**Disclaimer: The show "The OC", and all its characters are the creations of Josh Schwartz. All events in this fan fiction are totally from my own imagination.**

**Ok this first chapter is very much a Prologue, so it's not tremendously exciting, but it is certainly an easy glider into my story.It's short, only because I want it to be quitea briefoverview before I get into the essense of my story.Once again, enjoy it! Don't forget to review it with your hints and suggestions! It's the only way I become a better fan-ficker!**

Where the sun still shone, the turquoise waves still rolled and the sand still dusted along the beach, lived the richest residents in Newport. Here, were still the housewives getting their facelifts, acquiring their Louis Vuittons and driving their Mercedes Benz. And amidst the paradises and plastics of the OC, still lived Ryan Atwood. Still living in the pool house of his adopted family. Still the moral supporter of his friend of friends Seth. Still the chump who burnt down a house, the brother of an ex-con that got shot.

But two years had passed and life for Ryan Atwood was somewhat less dramatic than it used to be. He had been on the Honour Roll in his senior year of high school, went to the University of California and hadonly beaten up a couple of people! He still looked the same; with hair that never quite went his way. He was still a thinker, not a talker. Yes, life for 20-year-old Ryan Atwood was still good.

And then there was Marissa Cooper. Daughter of the richest woman in Newport. Still the girl who over-dosed in Mexico. Still the girl who went temporarily homosexual. Still the girl who shot her boyfriend's brother in the back. Marissa had not had such a smooth climb into adulthood. She still suffered from depression. Still woke up some nights with tears in her eyes. Still had a lump in her throat when she tried to forget the past. No, life as a 20-year-old felt pretty much the same as it did when she was 17; complicated and hard.

But the hurdles that Ryan and Marissa had shared together were part of the reason why even to this day, they were together. If it weren't for Ryan, Marissa couldn't have gotten through the latest years. Ryan was what completed Marissa. She loved him to the depths of her heart.

And Ryan loved Marissa. The whole Trey incident had certainly been a difficult burden, but not enough to dim his feelings for her. Ryan was perfectly aware that not the everyday couple would have gone through what he and Marissa had and still arrive on the other side together. Knowing this kept their hearts bound together.

So what about Seth then? And Summer for that matter? They had officially pipped Ryan and Marissa's fight and break-up record! But somehow they still kissed and made up everytime. Seth was doing wonders with his Comic Books. The inspiration he had gotten from George Lucas was his motivations to realise his dreams. Summer was studying fashion design and enjoying it immensely.

The four of them were still the best of friends. Vowing to always stick together through thick and thin – there had certainly been the thick. Ryan knew that he was one of the luckiest people to have the bonds he did.

And on this usual golden summer morning on which Ryan collected these thoughts, Seth in his usual manner ambled in to the pool house for another I-hate-Summer-today chat. Nope, things hadn't really changed!

**NEXT CHAPTER – Awkwardness comes between Ryan and Marissa, but why?**

**I hope you enjoyed this Prologue-Chapter. It's not your usual way to start a fan-fic, but I can assure, that it's going to be a great story! (Hopefully!)**


	2. The Discovery

**Thankyou for the pleasing reviews! Enjoy my next instalment!**

Ryan opened a sleepy eye at the sound of Seth turning on the Plasma. The summer vacation had just began and already he felt the hot Californian sun on his neck.

"Morning!" Seth said in his typical Cohenish way. He was already loading the playstation.

Ryan tried not to listen, and attempted to fall back to sleep.

"So, got anything planned for today? Eating with Marissa, shopping with Marissa, smooching with Marissa, all of the above?"

Ryan had had enough. He pulled out an arm, grabbed his half-full water bottle and pegged it at a still-grinning Seth. Seth caught the bottle with his right hand.

Ryan groaned, "Seth! It's 7am! Can't you be in your own room annoying Captain Oats or something?"

Seth continued to stare intensely at the screen, his fingers pushing vigorously on the control. "Oh, I'm sorry, Ryan, but Captain Oats was still asleep and I couldn't bear to wake him!" he smiled slyly.

Ryan knew he was arguing a winless case and reluctantly stumbled out of bed. He put a shirt and jeans on and joined Seth in front of the Plasma and took hold of the second control. "Pay back time!"

"You totally cheated!" Seth yelled half-an-hour later. "Totally illegal!"

"You've always been a sore loser, Seth," Ryan grinned, satisfied.

"You killed my guy… AND WE WERE ON THE SAME TEAM!"

"My finger slipped."

Seth dropped his control, "Isn't it funny how we are still playing these games?"

Ryan cocked his eyebrow, "Don't talk mature, Seth, you're scaring me."

"Sorry, dude."

Ryan got up. Seth followed.

"Oh, that reminds me," Seth said, "Ryan, I gotta borrow you're watch today. Mine broke and I need it." Seth made his way to Ryan's drawer.

Ryan froze. Oh no! He was hiding something in there. If Seth found it he would never speak the end of it. He turned around hastily. "No! Wait, Seth!"

But it was too late. Seth had already opened the drawer. All of a sudden, watches were off the agenda when he saw it. A hideous smirk came across his face as Ryan stopped in his tracks. They both looked at it; Ryan with utter humiliation, Seth with utter satisfaction.

"What… is… THIS!" Seth exclaimed. He reached into the drawer and pulled out a small square, velvet-clad box – a jewellery box! Seth ran his fingers over the material and opened the top. Revealed was a stunning sapphire ring with small diamonds encircling it. Seth turned to Ryan, whose heart was beating fast, "Ryan!"

Ryan was speechless.

Seth was so shocked he jaggedly sat on the bed and looked intensely at the ring. "You're going to propose to Marissa!"

Ryan sighed, this day could only get better, right? "I wanted it to be surprise."

"Oh, believe me, buddy, I'm surprised!"

"Yeah, well, I still haven't thought how I'm going to do it, you know… ask her." Ryan said in a small voice.

"When did you get this?" Seth asked, still overwhelmed.

"Last month. I've been keeping it here ever since."

"Amazing how you're fine with punching people at my parents' parties, but you're afraid to propose to your girlfriend!" Seth laughed.

Ryan elbowed him hard in the ribs, "OW!"

"Seriously, man! I love her, and after all we've been through it seems like the next step right? And, I mean, we're 20, 20's not too young is it?" Ryan said quickly.

Seth shrugged, "Man, I know that if anyone should be together in this way it's you and Marissa… I mean, well, you've survived this long."

"Yeah, and with Marissa's depression, maybe it could help her finally recover."

Seth was about to respond when, speak of the devil, the familiar sound of Marissa's car drove into the Cohen driveway. Ryan's heart began to race.

"Quickly! Put it away! Give it to me!" Ryan shrieked, "Hurry!"

Seth quickly popped the ring back in the box and tossed it to Ryan, who only just closed the drawer before Marissa stepped in.

"Hey, guys!" Marissa said in her best happy voice.

"Hey!" Ryan said almost too cheerfully. He kissed her on the cheek. Both of them looked at Seth who simply sat there, looking at them with an absent-minded smile on smile on his face.

Ryan shot him a truly threatening look.

"Oh, yeah! Hey, Marissa! You're here early. What's goin on?"

Marissa looked at the two suspiciously, "…Ok! Well I'm here to ask if you two would like to come to a party at my place tonight? It's some Do my Mom's doing for her _friends_," she said "friends" rather sarcastically. You didn't really classify back-stabbing forty-something party-goers as "friends". They were more like contacts.

"So do you wanna come?" Marissa asked.

"Oh, sure! I'd love to. Seth what about you?" Ryan asked in a don't-you-dare-say-no kind of way.

"Summer's coming?" Seth asked stupidly. Of course she'd be there!

Marissa nodded, looking increasingly curious. What the heck! "Ok, now, you tell me what's going on?"

"There's something going on? I didn't know something was going on, Seth did you?" Ryan asked.

"Nope."

Marissa stared at them, obviously not believing a word. She hated not being told things. She felt really depressed when it happened, and often she'd blame herself. "You know what? Forget it!" she said slightly angry, but she still managed a pleasant smile. She exited the pool house.

Ryan watched her go, feeling bad about his behaviour. He went after her.

"Hey, wait!" he called. Marissa spun around.

"Sorry about that," Ryan smiled, "Seth troubles." He hoped his white lie worked.

"Oh, I get it!" Marissa laughed genuinely this time, "Don't worry, 'kay? I'll be alright." There was an awkward silence. Ryan was having a serious think to himself. So many thoughts. So many feelings!

"SO, I'll see you tonight then?" he confirmed, forcing himself out of his ponders. Marissa nodded. He leaned forward and kissed her gently on the lips. "Okay, I'll see you at seven."

It was at that moment that he decided that tonight would be the night.

**NEXT CHAPTER: Will Ryan get his chance to ask Marissa the ultimate question?**


	3. Scars

**Thankyou so much for the wonderful feedback! This chapter begins the real body of my fan-fiction, and hopefully it will leave you hungry for more! Enjoy it!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing of the OC, although I do own the Music soundtracks and 7 posters of Benjamin McKenzie – which is almost the same!**

Marissa looked at herself in the mirror, breathing deeply. Today hadn't been the finest day. Marissa's days were always different; sometimes she felt perfectly fine and the sun could be seen glowing through her face. Other days she would feel horrible; her cheeks would flush, her energy would expire and a constant wetness would redden her eyes.

There was never really a motivation for her sadness - most of the time she couldn't even help it. Her feelings had minds of their own these days and Marissa hated not knowing if she would be crying all day or not.

To anyone, especially Ryan, Marissa – dressed in a divine black strapless dress and her soft, waving hair lightly half up – would have been the most beautiful, elegant girl in the room. But to her, she looked tired, rundown and unattractive. She fought back tears as she tried to liven herself up. So dearly she wished that her illness would just disappear. She was so very tired of fighting.

Marissa scowled at herself. She was more than determined to have a good time tonight. She and Ryan hadn't seen that much of each other lately. Must have been the busyness with college exams… but there was something about Ryan that hadn't really been right lately. He had been kind of…anxious around her. She couldn't imagine why though. But whatever it was, she was totally focussed on having a fantastic night with him!

And at this thought Marissa heart managed a soft smile.

Ryan paced around the pool house. Around and around he went, until his nervousness was soon disturbed by unrelenting dizziness. He massaged his right knuckles with his left hand, licked his lips and cracked his neck, but still his cantering heart would not slow down.

Ryan checked his bedroom clock which read 6:45. They should probably get going. It had been somewhat of an interesting day for Ryan. After the embarrassments of the morning, Ryan felt inclined to express himself to Sandy. After all Sandy, was more than just a guardian to Ryan; he was a father, and a father needed to know these things. Ryan reflected on the words Sandy had given him that afternoon:

"_I'm proud 'a'ya, kid! But I tell ya what, I saw it comin' from the day you met her that night on the driveway," Sandy laughed as he smacked him affectionately on the back._

"_I just can't believe it!" Kirsten added through her happy tears, "And after everything you two have survived… Come here!" and she stepped forward and drew him into a choking hug._

_Ryan appreciated their love immensely, "But, I don't how I'm going to …"_

"_Son," Sandy said, reading him loud and clear, "Leave _nothing_ to schedule. They day I asked Kirsten to marry me was the day I got my tonsils out. I'd come out of the anaesthetic, was slightly delusional and said it! Then and there!" Sandy and Kirsten eyed each other and giggled._

"_You serious?" Ryan laughed, "You always struck me as the roses and candle-light type."_

"_So did I," Kirsten said. She shook her head lovingly at Sandy, "But I'm still here now, aren't I?"_

"_Our point is, Ryan, the words will come at the right time."_

"Ryan, ready to go?" Seth poked his head through the pool house door. He was dressed particularly smartly tonight. I wonder why? Ryan thought to himself.

"Uh, yeah, I guess," he replied. He reached a hand up and patted the inside pocket of his jacket where he felt the squarish lump of a jewellery box. This was it.

Seth and Ryan pulled up in the Cooper mansion driveway. Seth in the passenger seat went to open his door.

"Coming, dude?" he asked.

Ryan was so nervous! He needed just a moment before he took the plunge. "Oh, no, man, you go ahead. I'll be up in a second."

For one of the few times in Seth's life, he turned completely un-Cohenish and placed a hand on his shoulder. "You'll be alright." Ryan smiled weakly and Seth exited the vehicle.

Now alone in the car with the mellow sound of Joseph Arthur through the speakers, Ryan sat, contemplating his thoughts. He reached into his pocket and took out the box. Tenderly, he opened it to reveal the ring, and he picked it out. Rolling it in his fingers, a swarm of thoughts overcame him. This ring symbolised so much. It was a symbol of their past, their future. A symbol of every fight they had ever had, and the ones to come. It was a symbol of every romantic moment they'd spent together. A symbol of the hardships that they had faced together: Oliver, Theresa, Trey. As bad as these times had been, they had helped shape their love.

Suddenly, his thoughts were interrupted by the sight of Marissa approaching. Fear pierced through him. There was no time to replace the ring before she came. Ryan panicked. What was he going to do! At a last-second resort he tossed the bear ring carelessly into the glove box. It would be ok for just a minute. Quickly he shut the lid.

Casually, as if nothing had happened, Ryan opened the door just as Marissa reached him and stepped out of the car.

"Ryan!" Marissa smiled.

"Hey!" he answered and pecked her on the lips, "How have you been feeling today?"

"Pretty good actually," Marissa lied. Still, she managed one of her infectious grins. She nodded her head towards the car, "What was keeping you?"

"Oh! There was a really good song on the radio that I wanted to finish."

"Mm_hmm_." Yep, there was definitely something going on with Ryan lately, Marissa thought. The two walked up the driveway together and joined the party, leaving Marissa's ring inside the glovebox – which Ryan hadn't closed properly…

Marissa may have said she was alright, but as the night wore on it was blatantly obvious to Ryan she wasn't. At every moment alone, Marissa would hide away in a corner and wipe away a tear. She had excused herself twice to go to the bathroom. Ryan knew she had gone to cry. The more Marissa deteriorated, the less Ryan wanted to ask the Question. He just couldn't find a right time.

Marissa's depression not only affected her, but Ryan too. It was sometimes so hard to get her to open up, and he could never know when she would be crying or laughing. He knew it was probably a selfish thing to think, but sometimes Ryan just couldn't understand why Marissa couldn't just… well, _stop_ the illness. He felt so horrible for thinking it though.

He approached her, "Hey, are you ok?"

Marissa looked at him, utterly distressed and ashamed of herself. More tears welled in her eyes. "I'm sorry," she choked, "I can't stop it!"

Ryan kissed her cheek, "It's alright. Do want to go for out for a drive? We could pop down to the beach. Get some of it out of your system?"

Marissa smiled honestly, "Yes, that would be fantastic."

As Ryan drove the car, his mind swelled with more thoughts. Would the beach be a good place? They would be alone, with the sounds of the ocean in their ears, the sand between their toes. Yes, it would be the perfect place. But then he thought, is it fair to do this to Marissa, in her state? Would such a situation make her happy or put her into shock? He didn't know. He couldn't decide. And again, he felt a surge of anger go through his heart. That same selfishness that he had just a few minutes ago.

"I don't get it sometimes," he said sadly.

"Get what?" Marissa asked, confused.

"Well… you," Ryan said bluntly, "I mean, this. Depression. I don't understand it."

Marissa sighed sorrowfully, "No, neither do I. I mean there's only so much the medication does and…"

Ryan cut in, almost harshly, which he didn't mean, but his feelings were strong, "No, I mean, I don't get how you can't just stop… you know… being like this."

Marissa stared at him in disbelief, "You don't think if I could make it go away I could?" she snapped. Her cheeks began to feel hot.

"I just don't understand it. You can't blame me for feeling like this. Everyday you're a different person."

"And everyday, I try! Everyday I'm fighting it! Everyday I feel guilty and sad and angry that I can't be happy! I can't believe this! It's like your blaming me!"

"I'm not blaming you! I just hate it how I can never know if you'll be crying or not. It kills me everyday."

"Why are you doing this! _YOU_ don't know what it's like to be me! _I_ have to live with myself everyday, knowing that I will probably not sleep at night!"

"And how do you think I feel! I'm always the one left picking up the pieces."

Both of them were now furious at each other. Marissa was crying hysterically, and Ryan was gripping the steering wheel tightly as he yelled. As their argument intensified, Ryan began to lose focus on the road.

Marissa was distraught. They hadn't been in a fight like this for a year. Tears blurred her eyes. She turned to lean against the window.

Then she saw, and her body went numb.

"RYAN!"

She screamed.

Ryan turned his head. His heart stopped when he saw the truck. The headlights were blinding. Its horn blared ferociously. Ryan slammed down on the breaks. The tyres screamed.

But it was too late.

The truck smashed into the side of their car. Pain struck every angle of her bodies. The car rolled of the road, glass smashing and splintering into their skins. Marissa screamed. Make it stop, make it stop! But still, the car rolled. It was endlessness. The road was below them as the top of the car scraped along the grounds. Then finally it came to grinding, scratching halt.

Silence.


	4. And the Eternities of Darkness

**Thankyou everyone for the overwhelming praise! It is a real honour! This chapter is rather dark, but hopefully will leave you eager for my next instalment! Keep up the great feedback, and I'll keep up the writing! Thankyou again!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the OC, but I do own a TV which plays it every Tuesday Night! (I'm Australian!)**

Inside the destroyed, upturned vehicle dangled the two limp bodies of Ryan and Marissa. The glovebox lid hung open, with no sight of the beautiful sapphire ring. That, along with everything else lay in darkness.

Marissa was having the most terrifying nightmare. She had just come out of one of her worst days, only to have a horrible fight with Ryan, the only one who understood. She remembered the tears that blinded her gaze. Then she remembered seeing it, and remembered the feeling of her body cripple and succumb to pain. She remembered feeling her head smash into the window; a million pieces of glass piercing her skin.

Her eyes fluttered open. She stared blankly at the picture before her; a chaotic image of the splintered windscreen and the open glovebox. She wheezed in excruciation. Her seatbelt was the only thing keeping her from falling into the dashboard. It choked her, and she could hardly breathe. The seatbelt held her at such a strong grasp that it scraped her neck, the strap sinking deep and blooding flowing from her chest.

She couldn't take it any longer. Her voice broke as a quiet but desperate cry escaped from her mouth. She shed a tear which slid into the corner of her mouth. It tasted like metal; blood was seeping from the wound on her forehead, which was throbbing uncontrollably.

Her breathing became more laboured and she felt her consciousness fading. The seatbelt was killing her slowly. She needed to break free before she lost the battle.

Desperate for relief, Marissa lifted her dangling left arm and felt weakly for the buckle. It seemed like an eternity, but finally she felt the plastic button beneath her shaking hand. With every ounce of strength she could muster, she took a deep, broken breath and pressed into the button.

But it didn't release.

She was too weak.

More tears bled from her blackening eyes. She released the hold of her arm, letting it fall back. But her soul stopped when her delicate fingers brushed the tips of Ryan's blonde hair. _Oh, God!_

"Ryan?" she choked, sound barely escaped from her voice.

Nothing.

"_Ryan!" _she began to hyperventilate, the ordeal almost too much for her to bear.

Again. Nothing.

In panic, Marissa twisted her head, only to be pulled back by a horrible ache that struck from her neck. She screamed in discomfort. She clenched her fists, determined to swallow away the desire to simply give up.

As far as it would move, Marissa turned her head slowly. Straining with her eyes until they nearly burst, she was devastated by what she saw. More cries charged through her body.

Ryan hung from his seatbelt, his head leaning in towards her. There was blood on the steering wheel where his face had collided and there was a deep red wound in the middle of his forehead. It destroyed Marissa to see him, like this. He was always the fearless one. Now this.

Even through Ryan's limp eyelids, Marissa imaged his clear blue eyes staring back at her, reassuring her that everything was going to be okay, that he was not going to give in, that he had not departed this world.

But still, there was nothing, and Ryan could never know that Marissa was next to him, praying that he would awake. It literally broke her heart.

Weeping hysterically, she felt around for his hand. She felt his soft fingers and folded hers in with them. She clasped it as tightly as she could. Gently, she raised it and kissed it, then rubbed it along her cheek. She breathed deeply and looked at him.

"_Ryan!_" she sobbed frantically. She was now numb to her own pain; no choking strap or glass-wounded gash could overwhelm her emotion. All she felt now was the deepest, strongest love for him, and yet the deepest, gravest sadness.

But still Ryan slept, his broken body sagging in his seatbelt.

Only when Marissa tasted a strong of flow of blood leak from her mouth did she realise her own ache again. Tears of anguish turned into tears of weakness. She felt again the seatbelt, suffocating her chest.

Neither of them would last the night. They needed help.

And at that moment, as Marissa's mind began to slip, there came from outside the car a distressed call.

"Can anyone hear me in there!" a man's voice whimpered.

Marissa's spirit rose. At a desperate surge of strength, she forced a gut-wrenching reply, "_Help us!"_

"Miss! _Miss! _Good _God_, are you alright!" the man yelled through the glass.

Tears again welled in her eyes under the pain and emotion, "My boyfriend…" it was all she could manage, all her body would permit.

"Don't worry, love, help is on its way. You and your boyfriend hang in there, _okay?_" the man's voice was soothing.

Marissa was still holding Ryan's hand, but her strength was failing. "Ryan, stay with me. Don't leave me here alone."

And at that final breath, her hand fell from his and Marissa fell into darkness, her senses collapsing and dead to the kind, tender arms that lifted her from the wreck.


	5. What are These Tears Upon Your Face?

**Hey guys! Thankyou soo much for the wonderful feedback! I had a record number of reviews, so I owe it all to you guys!**

**Many apologies for not updating for nearly a week! I was on holidays (or vaccation)with my family. But the good news is that I managed to write lots of material! So expect to see lots of chapters over the coming days!**

**This chapter features a lot ofSeth/Summer action, so never fear if you thought I'd forgotten them! Happy reading!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the OC. Never have, never will. sighs sadly**

Summer and Seth sat at the pool, their bare feet relaxing in the cool, turquoise water. Summer had her head resting comfortably on his shoulder and every now and again lightly pecked him on the cheek.

Seth was lost in his own thoughts though. Ryan had made him promise not to leak a word of the proposal plans to Summer. All night there had been an extra beat in his heart as he waited impatiently for the sign that told him that Ryan had popped the question. But as midnight approached, he had neither seen nor heard from Ryan since their farewells in the car. Maybe he had some extravagant all-night thing planned. At the thought Seth chuckled out loud and startled Summer.

"Okay, Cohen! Enough of this!" Summer said crossly.

"What?" Seth returned. His cheeks began to grow warm. He was so bad at keeping secrets. He'd been doing so well all night, but now Summer was on to him! I'm going down, he said under his breath.

"Come on, Cohen! Do you think I'm blind of something? You've had that same look in your eyes all night."

"I do? I mean, I have?" Seth coughed pathetically. "Uh, what look?"

"The kind of look you usually have when something's up and you've been sworn to secrecy. Except that you and I both know your track record on actually _keeping_ the secret!" Summed grinned wickedly and gently elbowed him in the arm.

Seth blushed, "Nothing, I know nothing," he was failing miserably.

"_Coh-hen_, I'm _wait-ing_." Summer cooed expectantly. She scowled at him, her arms tightly crossed.

He couldn't take it anymore. He sighed deeply and took a breath. "Okay," he began. "There is a chance… well maybe a bit more than a chance… a great possibility… well, actually, an almost certainty…"

"_Cohen!_"

"_Okay! _Don't rush me!" Seth groaned. "Tonight... Ryan is…"

Abruptly, before Seth could go on any further, he was interrupted by the sudden ringing of a phone.

"Oh wait, hang on," Seth breathed a sigh of a relief. Saved by the bell! He reached into his pocket and pulled out Sandy's cell phone.

Summer looked at it, puzzled, "Wait, why do you have your Dad's cell?"

"I lost mine." Seth replied.

He surveyed the number on the screen. It read Unknown Contact.

Summer raised an eyebrow, "You seem to be losing a lot of things lately, Cohen; your watch, your cell. Careful or you'll be losing me next!" She fluttered her lashes.

Before answering, Seth shook his head smiling and kissed her on the lips, "No, my Summer Beloved, that is impossible!" Summer giggled.

Seth flipped the phone open, "Hello?"

"Sandy Cohen?" said a serious voice on the other end.

"Um, no, this is Seth, his son," he replied hesitantly, "Who may I ask is calling?"

The solemn voice continued, "Please put your father on. I require to speak with him immediately."

"Uh, yeah, sure. Just a sec."

Seth got up and looked around for his for dad.

"Who's that?" Summer questioned.

"Some dude for my Dad," Seth answered, still searching through the crowds, "Do you see him anywhere?"

Summer looked with him. They found Sandy with Kirsten and Julie who were having a wonderful laugh.

"Hey, Dad!", they walked towards him, Seth waving the cell phone in his hand. "Someone for you."

Sandy grinned, obviously adding to their conversation, "Ah! You see, Julie? I'm not as unpopular as everyone says!" Julie and Kirsten giggled.

He raised the cell phone to his ear and said cheerfully, "Sandy Cohen."

"Mr Cohen? Father of Ryan Atwood?" replied the man on the receiving end.

"I'm his guardian, yes, how may I help you?" Sandy replied, a tinge of unease entering his veins.

Seth, Summer, Kirsten and Julie all watched in confusion and despair as Sandy's expression turned utterly ice-like.

"Mr Cohen I grieve to inform you that Mr Atwood and a Miss Marissa Cooper were involved in a serious automobile accident approximately forty minutes ago."

"_Oh my God!_" Sandy said in a low, severe voice. The others stared in panic.

"Dad?" Seth said alarmed. When his dad had mentioned the word "guardian" he'd guessed immediately this was about Ryan. Something was desperately wrong.

Sandy finished his conversation, "Thank you, Officer, we'll be there right away." He took the phone from his hear.

"Mr Cohen?" Summer asked, her voice quivering.

Sandy swallowed hard, "It's Ryan and Marissa…"

**X**

Summer's eyes blinked open. Her vision was hazy and the movement of her cheeks made her dried tears tingle. She looked around the hospital waiting room, at first unaware of where she was. Then she remembered.

She raised her swollen head from Seth's lap. Her hand was still clasped in his as he, too, slept lightly.

Summer took out the small mirror she kept in her bag. Her eyes were red and her mascara and eyeliner had run away with her tears. Her lips were dry and lacked their usual scarlet shine, and the glow from her face had burnt out. She couldn't care less though.

All night she had been sitting here, unable to see Marissa. The doctor had strictly insisted that only family members were permitted to see her for now. Life-long best friends hadn't made the cut.

Seth roused shortly after. He looked nearly as bad as Summer. His eyes no longer held their usual twinkle. Instead they were black against his dry, melancholy skin.

"Hey," he said quietly,

They looked at each other in the eyes. Summer tried to smile and be strong for him, but it was too hard.

"How's Ryan?" she choked. It took her every muscle to muster the words, but tears still brimmed her eyes.

Seth shook his head sadly and shrugged, "I don't know. Mom came out about an hour ago. He's still in theatre." He bit his lip, trying to swallow the emotion, "He's in bad shape."

Summer kissed him gently on the cheek, and pressed her forehead upon his. The tears fell down her face, "It's okay," she rubbed her hand up and down his arm.

"And Marissa?" Seth returned.

She sighed, her breath breaking under the cries. "I don't know either. Still nothing."

She sniffed back her tears, "Seth, why did this have to happen? They were so happy, and she was doing so well! She was nearly better!" she dug her face into his shoulder and cried violently.

"I know," Seth whispered in a low voice, "I know."

"Summer, honey?" Jimmy came down the hall. His tie hung loosely around his neck and the sleeves of his dinner shirt were rolled up. He gave the two of them a sympathetic smile.

"How is she?" She burst from Seth's hold and stood up abruptly.

"Well… she's awake," Jimmy said tiredly, but there was still great sadness in his tone, "You can go and see her now," Summer nodded and turned to Seth, "Cohen?"

"Any news on Ryan?" Seth asked. He was relieved for Marissa but he couldn't be happy until he knew Ryan was safe as well.

Jimmy shook his head remorsefully, "Still no word, I'm afraid."

Seth buried his head in his hands and tried to blink away the frustration and misery.

Summer's heart broke to see Seth like this. She bent down and raised his head slowly with her finger under his chin. "I'll be right back," she kissed him.

Seth nodded and went on waiting in the uncomfortable chair while Summer walked away down the corridor.

**X**

Marissa lay numbly on her bed. She felt like a ton of bricks had fallen through her body. On her forehead she bore twenty-two stitches, she had two black eyes and her cheeks were swollen and blue. Her chest had a further ten stitches and her neck ached.

But her scars were nothing compared to the hurt she felt inside. She was broken and a deep sadness swelled in her heart. The memory was so clear in her mind: the glass, the blood… the sight of his limp body.

But no one could tell her where he was. No one knew. Outside she was crying silent tears, but inside she was screaming and cursing, wanting to get out.

She closed her eyes, trying with all her might to drain out the agony. More tears bled from her eyes and she could feel the wetness on her lashes. She kept thinking that when she opened them he would be there, cradling her and telling her that he was okay.

She blinked them open.

He hadn't come.

But there _was_ someone.

"_Coop!_" Summer rushed over to Marissa's side. They embraced tightly, weeping deeply into each other's shoulders. Then Marissa broke away and looked desperately into her friend's eyes.

"Coop?" Summer combed through her Marissa's soft blonde hair with her long nails, "What is it?"

"I need to see him, Summer! _Where is Ryan?_"


	6. The Sound of Silence

**Wow! What can I say? Thankyou for the great reviews guys! It's really overwhelming, and I really appreciate it so much! Glad you're liking the story, because it's so much fun to write! Hope this next chapter doesn't disappoint! Hopefully it's quite emotional, and sets the scene for my next instalment! Enjoy! Keep up the great feedback**

**Disclaimer: Still don't own the OC.**

Marissa woke the next morning from a dreamless sleep. Summer had gone home hours ago after Jimmy had insisted she get some rest. But still there was nothing to be said about Ryan. Marissa's wounds throbbed, the scratches aching like knives stabbing through her body. The mauve bruises that painted her eyes made her eyelids heavy and her vision hazy. She felt her chest.The stitches that sewed her skin pained at her cold, delicate touch.

No sooner had she awaken, thesaddening sensation was building again in her throat. Despite the soreness of her forehead, Marissa's mind raced, flooding with thoughts and memories and self blame. The tears ran down her face and fell onto the pillow. She wished insanely that she'd taken Ryan's place; that _she_ was fighting for her life. He didn't deserve it. He'd never deserved anything bad that had happened in his life. And she didn't deserve Ryan. She'd _never _deserved him. It was _her_ fault he had lost his concentration and flipped the car off the road. _Her_ fault he'd gotten angry in the first place. And now Ryan was on the verge of death because of her.

She cried like this for an hour before the familiar gait of her father approaching the room pulled her back into reality. Hastily she attempted to wipe away the burning tears, without inflaming the bruises around her eyes, to no prevail.

"Kiddo?" Jimmy poked his head through the doorway. His demeanour was kind and gentle, and his eyes were full of love for his daughter. He sent her a sorrowful smile. Marissa simply looked at him and did not attempt to reply, or herfeelings would surely explode.

"Oh, sweetie!" he saw her impossible state, and walked over to her. He wrapped her strong arms around her, and squeezed her tenderly. "Come on. Let it out."

At that, Marissa's cries resumed and she sobbed hysterically into his shoulder, the grief and trauma growing only stronger and digging deeper as the tears slid down her face.

"It's okay. It's okay." Her father's voice was calm and soothing.

"W-Where's R-Ryan?" she shook violently under the unrelenting agony.

"He's going to make it," Jimmy replied. He massaged his hand up and down her back, rocking her back and forth, "He had a very rough night, but the doctors think that he'll be alright."

"W-What h-happened to him?"

Jimmy sighed. The truth was he was still coming to terms with the good news himself. He truly thought it was a miracle that Ryan had come out of theatre alive.

"He had a punctured lung and some internal bleeding, and they had to operate. We nearly lost him...," Marissa's body trembled. The news was almost unbearable. His words echoed in her ear, and sent chilling shivers down her spine.

_We nearly lost him. _

_We nearly lost him._

I _nearly lost him._

Jimmy continued, "...but he made it."

Finally, the relief of the good news began to sink in and the knots in her veins loosened. She continued to cry, "I w-was so-o scared!" she squeaked, "I th-thought he was _dead!_" A fresh flow of tears escaped at thatfrightening word.

Jimmy continued cradling her. He didn't say it out loud but under his breath he whispered, "So did I."

Several minutes passed before Marissa felt her strength reviving. Her guilt still lingered, but now just knowing that he hadn't disappeared forever gave her comfort.

"Can I go and see him?" she asked gingerly.

Jimmy considered it, "Maybe later. Right now both of you need to rest."

As much as she hated being still apart from Ryan, Marissa couldn't deny her growing desire to close her eyes. The weight of the tragedy was slowly lifting off her stomach. She was relaxing at last and the tears were beginning to dry just as she fell into a long, deep slumber.

**X**

Summer walked into the hospital hours later. The Cohens had gone home to sleep, but Seth had left her a text message telling her about Ryan. She had tried to sleep but found herself restless, despite her enduring weariness.

During the night, Marissa had told Summer how responsible she felt about the accident. Summer hated the thought of her friend blaming herself unforgivably, all alone in that industrious hospital wing, and had decided to keep her company.

She walked through the hall to Marissa's room. She quietly opened the door only to find her best friend resting innocently, lost in peaceful slumber.

"Dear Coop," Summer cocked her head to one side as she looked at Marissa. Maybe she should leave her to rest. Suddenly, she had a stab of sadness strike through her body, when she thought of what her friend had just been through.Summer couldn't begin to imagine what she'd be like if this had happened to Seth. Yes, Cohen drove her to the brink of insanity on some days, but it was part of the charm she loved so dearly about him. If she lost him…

Quickly, Summer turned away from the door, trying to shelve her terrible thoughts. She blinked and realised there was wetness in her eyes. She pulled out a tissue and dabbed them before anyone saw. She'd cried too much already. And it wouldn't help Coop. She needed to be strong for both of them.

She turned to leave the hospital, and was at its exit when she had a better idea. She stopped, spun around and approached the front desk. An old women with permed, rich brown hair and kindly blue eyes took off her glasses which hung on a chain.

"Yes, dear?" she smiled warmly.

"Um, yes," she took a moment, wondering whether this was really such a good idea, then she continued, "Uh, Ryan Atwood?"

The old women smiled affectionately, "Girlfriend?" she asked politely as she searched his name on the computer.

"Oh, no, just friend," Summer smiled back.

The old woman chuckled. "Oh, I've heard all about him! He's a fighter that one!"

Summer couldn't help but amuse at the irony of "fighter". She reflected on the times Ryan had either given, or _been _given a black eye. Now he had fought his way from death. Summer lightly laughed absentmindedly. "Hmm, yes, he is."

"Level Four, room Twenty-six on the left," the woman notified.

"Thankyou," they exchanged final grins before Summer made her way up to his room.

The walk was a long, reflective one for Summer, and gave her strange feelings. They had never been overly close, she and Ryan. But there had nevertheless always been this kind of unspoken bond they shared. She'd just grown so accustomed to him always being there, protecting Seth, loving Marissa, thinking, not talking. She could see it in his eyes everyday how much Marissa meant to him. He truly loved her. He was special. She _just_ couldn't believe that he'd almost lost his life.

She entered the room and there he was, sleeping soundly, the ventilator tracing his heartbeat. Nervously, she walked over and pulled up a chair and sat in front of him.

Hey, Chino!" she said in her typical chirpy manner. She knew a reply wouldn't come, but still she got ascrape of sadness when it didn't.

She went on, trying to maintain her tone, "So! I heard you nearly died last night! That was pretty gutsy of you, but…" a strange sensation was building in her throat, "but, I'm kinda glad you decided to stick around!" She leaned forward as if to whisper to him, "Don't tell Marissa, or she'll think I'm after you! … _eww!_" she tried to add a soft laugh, but something was holding her back. The more she talked to him, the harder it got.

She breathed away a threatening surge of emotion, "Actually, speaking of Marissa, she's okay. I mean, yep, she's a little shaken up… but let's face it, Ryan! When _isn't_ our Coop a little shaken up, eh?" Now tears were prickling at her eyes. What's_ wrong_ with me! She was furiouswith herself for her foolishness, but talking in this tone was becoming impossible. Again, she swallowed away the growing lump that was forming in her throat.

Finally, she realised that she couldn't continue this way. It wasn't helping, in fact it was making her succumb to the situation faster. She gave a laboured sigh, choking back more tears that brimmed her eyes.

"Ryan," she said, seriously now, "I know you and I don't talk much, but I still think you are one of the nicest people I've ever met! You're so…" the emotion was at breaking point, her voice began to waver, "You're so _loyal_ to Marissa. You have _no idea_ how much she loves you! She has since the day she met you. She tells me everyday."

She looked away to finally permit a flow of tears to seep from her eyes. She had to get out of there! She kissed him lightly on the forehead, "Just promise me you won't leave us…" Suddenly she thought of Seth, her beautiful Cohen, and she couldn't help but let out a weak giggle, "…or I will _officially_ have to kill Cohen! You know you're the only one who can keep what sense he has in that little possessed brain of his!"

Summer stood up and went to leave. She stood there at the door, stoking the handle with her fingers. She turned her elegant face and looked at his sleeping body one last time, adding, "He wouldn't survive without you either."

And at that, Summer hurried away down the dimly lit corridor, wiping away her rapidly falling tears as she left.


	7. This Moment Here With You

**Thanks everyone once again for the great comments! Like always, very much appreciated! Ok, well I've had one or two people wondering whether I have forgotten about that little thing called the Ring! Never fear! **

**This chapter is full-on Ryan and Marissa! I just hope I do them justice! As always, please keep up the wonderful feedback!**

**Disclaimer: Nope, don't own anything of the OC.**

Marissa woke and it was dark. She'd been out of it all day and well into the night so it took her a while to realise where she was. She glimpsed at her watch. It read a minute passed midnight.

She rubbed her eyes before remembering how much her bruises still hurt. She winced with pain and quickly desisted. The sound of silence was agonising in her ears and she soon concluded it was useless trying to rest until morning.

For a moment, all Marissa did was lie there, looking up at the ceiling, reflecting on the recent events. The memory of the crash was still so crisp in her mind. She'd never felt such terror in her life.

She sat up and through the darkness felt around for the switch of the lamp. When the light came on, Marissa noticed immediately the note that was lying on the beside-table. She picked it up and as soon as she read the simple, yet powerful words, the wash of feeling surged through her stomach. She read Summer's hand writing.

_Coop! Ryan 4.26!_

_Get well soon sweetie!_

_Love S._

Marissa's breathing jagged, emotion reviving in her throat. An immediate film of haze glazed her eyes. Timidly she rose from the bed and pulled on her slippers and her warm, oversized Harbor sweater that her mother had left. She stood at her door, contemplating the thoughts that chased in her mind. She felt the pounding beat of her heart against her chest. The glassiness of her eyes could be distinguished in the dark, deserted corridors.

She took a deep, determined breath and began the two-level walk up to his room.

The walk was one of the longest she'd ever taken. Every step brought her closer, and with every movement her insides ached. She wasn't sure whether this was the feeling of excitement or of nervousness, but whatever it was, it strangled her.

The memories kept revolving around her head, so many sights and sounds! The screaming horn of the truck, the splintering glass, the scraping roof below her, the eerie silence that hung as she struggled to break free… the sight of him there, not moving… it was almost too much for Marissa to bear. Would her head explode? She thought it would.

Finally, Marissa found herself standing outside the room… _his_ room. He was in there…

She checked the room number, just making sure she was in the right place, though she knew she was. There, like a ghost seeping through the cracks in the wall, she lingered, grasping the handle of the closed door. She cursed at herself. _Just open the door!_ But she couldn't do it. _It's not hard!_

She remained, caressing the metal grip, and all of a sudden, cherished recollections of her visits to the poolhouse came floating back into her mind. For a suspended moment all she could do was dwell on that day, that fresh summer morning, when her life turned upside down…

_Marissa opened her blurry eyes and scraped out a heavy layer of fairy dust. Her head hammered and her vision was blotched. _Where the hell am I!_ She looked around, totally bewildered. Even with a blistering hangover she had the sense to know that she had never been here before._

_She was lying in a large double bed; there was a glass door with blinds and she was surrounded by handsome cream walls. Nervously, she sat up and surveyed herself. She was still in her blue jeans and red-striped top. Her loosely hanging hair was dry and tangled. _Must have gone out hard_, she thought, but still! Where was she?_

_She looked around still, and then suddenly caught her eye on the sleeping figure in the corner of this alien place. He bore a purple bruise on his cheek, and his wife-beater was dirty and discoloured. His sandy-blonde hair was impossibly messy and his muscular arms lay limply under his head. And those eyes! Even behind his closed eyelids, she could recall them so clearly. She'd memorised them, those passionate, soft eyes with their honest gaze. They held so many secrets, stories, histories…_

_Quickly, not wanting to wake him, she made a silent escape. She slid off the bed, gingerly slipped out of the door and then ran hard out next door to her own room, before she got sprung by her parents. He would never know it then, but from that moment on, Marissa Cooper loved Ryan Atwood._

A loving, absentminded smile formed on her face. Even four years on, that chapter in her life still felt so real, so tender. She would always cherish that moment, for the rest of her life.

Now with inner strength, and a sense of tranquillity fulfilling her heart, Marissa finally opened the door. The click of the latch echoed throughout the entire floor in the constant silence. Marissa stepped inside.

And there he was.

When she saw him, the knots in her veins re-looped. He was there. Just sleeping. As she stepped closer the damage on his face became clearer. Where his head had impacted with the steering wheel there was a white square bandage. Where the hurdling glass had pierced his skin, bruises and scratches dappled his face. He looked so broken against the steady sounding of his pulse. He was no longer invincible, the way Marissa had always known him as. Tears filled her eyes.

There was a chair facing into the bed. Silently, with her eyes fixed on Ryan, she took a seat. As tears began to slide down her cheeks, Marissa slipped her hand into his and embraced it firmly. She took a moment to look at him, the love as strong as it had been that yesterday summer's morning. She leant in and lightly kissed his still hand and then rubbed it along her cheek. She closed her eyes, taking in the feeling, causing a strong flow of wetness to escape from them.

"Oh, Ryan!" she wept, "I'm so sorry! Everything was all my fault! I… I'm so sorry I put you through this. I don't know how I would've live with myself if…"

She forced herself to take a long breath.

"Please wake up, Ryan. _Please!_" She whispered into his ear, stroking his sandy blades of hair with her gentle fingers. "Let me see your eyes."

Those beautiful, subtle eyes she loved so. Please… _Please…_

Marissa wrapped her arms lightly around him, and laid her head gently against his neck. Her chin rested on his strong shoulder, and she closed her eyes again, taking in the steady motion of his breathing.

She stayed like that for hours. Even in his oblivion, Marissa found his mere presence soothing. Lost in the memories, their story-book past, Marissa felt herself falling asleep, her blinking becoming frequent, and the heaviness of her eyelids growing in weight with each flutter.

Falling…

Falling…

But suddenly, Marissa felt Ryan's hand flinch in hers. Everything froze. Marissa's heart skipped. Was it just a dream? But it felt so real! She rose from her position, her eyes large and wide, looking down on him. She squeezed her hand back at him, desperate for a response.

"Ryan?" she gasped. Her heartbeat danced.

Then, his whole body began to move. Indescribable sensations soared through her body, and again tears flooded her eyes.

"_Ryan!"_

_Oh please! Come on!_ Marissa prayed.

And at last, after all this time, Ryan's eyelids trembled and they opened, revealing those same tranquil blue eyes Marissa knew so well and loved so much.

He blinked, and saw her face and smiled.

"Hey," he whispered in a weak, hoarse voice. He spoke.

And at that, Marissa broke down, the agony washing away with every falling tear.

Ryan looked into her beautiful face, "You're crying!"

She didn't reply. She just dug her head into his neck and kept weeping, thanking all the goodness in the world for giving Ryan back to her.


	8. A Family Reunion

**Hey guys! Just three chapters to go! I'm kind of dreading it, because it's been such a great ride! You guys have been so supportive and encouraging and I'm so touched that you're enjoying this! I never thought I'd get 20 reviews, let alone over 60! So thanks!**

**This chapter was pretty tricky to write; it's a slight anti-climax, so I didn't want to make it boring. I really have been a bit stuck with this chapter, so I hope it doesn't disappoint! Here it goes!**

**Disclaimer: don't own the OC**

The moisture of her warm, salty tears was leaking into his skin. She didn't reply, she just kept crying and shaking. He couldn't understand. Why didn't he have the strength to hold her back? Why did he feel so weary? Where was he? And… it was then the excruciation stabbed through his chest. It was like someone scraping a fork through his lungs. When he breathed in, it was as if someone punching him with blades. It felt as if there was a river of blood penetrating in his rib cage. He didn't understand at first. Why do I feel this way? What's happened?

But then the crippling reminiscence of him being hurdled around in his seat, glass smashing everywhere, the steering wheel colliding with his forehead, and then folding into his torso came floating back in his mind. He recalled the last thing he saw before falling into utter darkness. It was the sight Marissa's petrified face, screaming with sheer terror, blood seeping from her head, tears falling from her eyes, her hair glistening with trapped beads of shattered glass. She looked dead through her consciousness. And it was all his fault.

The thoughts swivelled around his head like a spinning top; he was unable to look at a single moment, they were going to fast. Then suddenly, he was pulled out of his fiery reverie when Marissa gripped the material over his chest and an unbelievable surge of pain overwhelmed him.

He wheezed and Marissa quickly pulled away, her face smeared with fallen tears, "Oh! Sorry!" she choked. Marissa smiled with absolute relief, and stroked his cheek with her soft, quivering hand. The touch was soothing to his skin and the pain quickly diminished as he took in her silky stroke.

Both of them had so much to say, so much to reveal. Their feelings, their guilts, their own recollections of the fateful night were all inside, but neither had the strength, nor the nerve to express them. The love at that moment was too strong for painful memories to break it. They both remained silent, gazing passionately into each other's eyes with neutral faces.

The minutes ambled passed, neither of them breaking eye-contact, the same memories flowing in their minds, the same feelings pumping through their hearts. Marissa looked at him; she wanted to say so much, there was so much to talk about, emotions that were bottled inside and yearning to escape. She drew in a silent breath ready to open her mouth, when they were disturbed by the sound of approaching footsteps; soft patters against the plastic floors. The handle of the closed door moved and a figure clad in a white dress stepped in. Marissa suddenly realised what time it was. She was shocked to learn she'd been here for over three hours, for the clock now read 3:48am.

"Miss Cooper! Thank goodness!" the nurse whispered briskly, crumbling the peaceful silence that had loomed for so long. She was a short, elderly woman with carelessly pulled-back blonde hair, and signs of age forming around her eyes and neck. She sighed a breath of relief when she saw Marissa, and portrayed a scowl upon her face. "I was doing my rounds and came into your room and you were gone. Said to myself, I did," the nurse rambled, "I said, _I _know where she is! Oh, yes, Miss Cooper! Heard all about you and Mr Atwood here. Very courageous story, it is." Ryan and Marissa, exchanged slight smiles at the nurse's affectionate gabble, "So I hurried up here, and here you are! Just as I suspected!" she shook her head, failing to muffle an amused grin.

"Oh, sorry," Marissa said quietly. She knew her time with Ryan had expired, but she was nevertheless dreading the thought of being without him again. They looked at each other, and Ryan gave her a frail smile. He didn't want her to leave, but he couldn't shake off the intensifying drowsiness that was overwhelming his body.

"Come on, love," the nurse beckoned, "Best get a decent snooze in before breakfast, eh?"

Marissa nodded shyly. She leaned forward and kissed him sweetly on the mouth, "I'll be back, 'kay?" It may not have seemed it, but that simple goodbye was the most difficult they'd shared in a while. There was still so much that hadn't been said, that would be left like that for the time being. As Marissa's steps drew farther away from him, the pain in Ryan's chest strengthened.

It's my fault, Marissa sighed, feeling cool tears line her eyes.

Ryan became lost in his spinning thoughts again. It's my fault.

They shared one last stare, and then she was gone.

**X**

When Ryan woke up again he found that outside the sun was up and shining brightly. All over he felt like lead. Everything was stiff and heavy. He blinked, struggling to take in the brightness of the day, and then looked around the white room of the hospital. The fixed beating of the ventilator was ringing softly at the back of his ears. He lay there, breathing in the cool air that hung; thoughts and memories swirling in his head.

With some difficulty, he managed to strain his eyes to check the time, which read 11:46am. Ryan sighed. He'd never been in hospital before. He remembered being a boy and was always so envious of other kids getting their appendixes out and their broken legs cast and got to go to hospital. It was one of those bizarre ambitions a child always had that no one could really understand. Now, here he was, in hospital at last, and he was dreading every second. It really wasn't much fun resting an internal injury, with the weight of nearly killing your girlfriend on your shoulders.

At that, Ryan heard the soft step of a familiar face approaching his room. The tethers in his heart loosened when Seth opened the door and poked his head through. At the sight of that same impossible bed of black hair and bold eyes, Ryan couldn't help but smile, eased to have someone to talk to.

Seth gingerly walked in. It was the first time he had seen Ryan awake for nearly three days. He was still so relieved that Ryan was still here. His parents hadn't said it out loud, but Seth knew that he had very nearly died. Seth shuddered at the thought of losing the first and only true friend he'd ever had.

He waved tentatively, his mouth forming a flat smile and not quite making eye contact. He didn't speak at first.

"Hey, man," Ryan smiled warmly. He knew what Seth was thinking. For one thing, it was pasted all over his face. But judging by the events of the Summer of 2004, Seth would've gone farther than Portland if… he quickly wiped that thought away from his mind.

"Dude," Seth mumbled quietly, "Glad you're awake," finally he smiled, the utter relief breezing from his eyes.

"Thanks," Ryan croaked. Seth took a seat on the chair.

"So, man, how are you feeling?" Seth asked.

"Ah, pretty crappy at the moment, but I think it's just the anaesthetic I guess."

Seth stifled a slight grin, "And you did kinda had a punctured lung."

Ryan smiled, "Yeah, that too." Seeing Seth reminded him of the Cohen mansion. He missed it and he sighed, "So, how's home?"

"Oh, it's a happening place!" Seth said sarcastically, "Mom and Dad are just…" Seth shook his head sadly, "well… the sooner you come home, the sooner things can go back to normal."

"Define normal," Ryan laughed slightly. Seth chuckled back.

"Captain Oats holding up?"

Seth nodded grinning. Whenever they were in a dark patch, Ryan would always bring up Captain Oats to lighten the mood, "Oh, the same as always, Ryan! Actually Princess Sparkles came over and kept him company last night, so he was happy."

"Oh, is Summer okay?" Ryan asked, the mention of Princess Sparkles reminding him.

Seth shrugged, "She's alright. The… accident," he said nervously, "Freaked her out of course, with, uh, Marissa… and stuff." Seth watched as Ryan's face fell at Marissa's name. He continued, "So, uh, I went to see Marissa this morning as well. She's coming out today," he checked the clock, "Actually about now," Ryan's expression turned ever more saddened. "So, uh, have you two… talked?"

Ryan groaned, "Yeah, well kinda. She came in last night. She was there when I woke up, but we barely said a word to each other. I mean, I was dying to talk to her… but it was too hard."

Seth stared at him, a rare serious look across his face, "Yeah, Marissa said the same thing," he shrugged, "I mean, I know a car accident is a big deal, but I kinda got the vibe that something else happened between you two that night."

Ryan moaned, the memory so painful, "Yeah, something did happen."

Seth eyed him expectantly.

"It was all my fault, Seth. We got into this fight and I was so angry, and she – she was so upset," Ryan cringed at the memory. How could he have been so heartless and selfish? "Then I just, lost focus, and the next thing I know I'm here, and she's here, and… I've just screwed everything up."

Seth laughed slightly. Ryan looked at him, hurt, "Oh, and what's so funny about that?"

Seth shrugged, "It's just funny. Marissa said the exact same thing."

Ryan was caught momentarily speechless. Marissa thought this was _her_ fault? Why would she think that? _She _wasn't the one her who was driving. _She_ wasn't the one who started the fight. She hadn't done a thing. It was _his_ fault, and no one else's.

At that moment, Sandy and Kirsten walked into the room. Both bore relieved and happy smiles.

"Sweetie!" Kirsten chirruped. She hurried over and kissed Ryan on the cheek. When she rose, he saw tears in her eyes.

"How you doin' kid?" Sandy asked, standing behind his wife and supporting her back.

Ryan replied, "Oh, well been better, but you know." Words couldn't describe his happiness at seeing his family there with him.

The four of them talked for well over an hour when Ryan said ashamed, "Sandy? I'm sorry about the car."

Sandy shook his head for Ryan not to stress, "Ryan, it's okay! It's not important. Cars can be replaced, but adopted sons? Never!"

Ryan couldn't help but smile, but his heart still sank, "So, it's wrecked?"

"Unfortunately, it was unsalvageable. All that could be saved was Seth's cell phone, Marissa's bag, a hair brush, and some other bits and pieces of junk."

All of a sudden, Ryan went completely numb. His breath froze, his heartbeat ceased and his vision went blank. He was deaf to their voices, and was lost in a burning memory which struck at him like a spear.

"…Ryan? _… Ryan?_ You with us?" Seth snapped his fingers across his face, startling him. Ryan looked around at the Cohen's, struggling to find his voice.

"You alright, dude?"

Ryan jumped but quickly laughed pathetically, "Oh… yeah, sorry."

Seth, Sandy and Kirsten went on chattering while Ryan just lay there, lost his own world, and emotionally destroyed at the realisation that he had lost Marissa's ring forever.


	9. After All These Years

**Two chapters left! If you are a Ryan and Marissa fan, you will love this chapter! (Hopefuly!)**

**Disclaimer: Still don't own it. And nothing in this fan-fic is aimed to offend anyone.**

Ryan spent the next four days recuperating in hospital, regaining the breath in his lungs and feeling strength re-enter his muscles. But despite his physical healing, his emotional torment had but deepened. The comprehension that it had vanished was so great. He couldn't accept that it was really gone. His conscience was bathed in guilt, and he couldn't help but reflect on all the times when he had let Marissa down. There were too many times; when he left her for Theresa, gone off with Lindsay, accused her of cheating on him with Trey, turned her away after he had died… and now this.

All the tears Marissa had spilled over the past four years was because of him. He'd hoped that proposing to her would have finally wiped them away. Now he wouldn't have that honour. Besides, he concluded, he didn't even deserve it. The sinking feeling he felt in the pit of his stomach indescribable. The pain was worse than the scraping sensation he had once felt in his chest.

His troubles were not at all helped with Marissa's visits. Now out of hospital and the bruises mending around her face, she had at first devoted all her time to being with him and keeping him company. But their conversations (or lack of, rather) had wedged an infinite awkwardness between them. Neither was willing to be the first to break their silences, and they never got much further than casual "how are you's". Both of them could see in the other's eyes that something was being bottled up, but this just made their meetings worse. Marissa hadn't even visited that day yet. But, Ryan pondered sadly, it's probably for the best.

He groaned. He was _so _sick of hospitals, and beds, and injections and plastic food. Everyday droned by twice as slowly as the last and he was beginning to wonder when he was _ever_ going to see the Cohen's handsome cream walls again. The thought of staying in any longer was more nauseating than the faint throbbing in his ribcage. He sighed. It'd be really nice if he had a visit from…

The handle lowered and clicked open, as someone made their way inside. Ryan's heart leaped. He didn't know if he could handle another uncomfortable Marissa Session right now. The adrenaline rushed to his head, but it quickly dispatched when Seth exposed himself. Ryan was suddenly immediately surprised with himself when he actually felt remorse that it _wasn't _her.

Seth chirruped. Ryan noticed he had a particularly Cohen-ish look on his face, "Hey Ry. How art thou this day?"

"Hey," Ryan replied in monotone.

Seth looked at his miserable friend, "Woah, Dude, you look as if you could need some fresh air."

Ryan laughed sarcastically, "Thanks man! Appreciated!"

Seth leaned in, "Well, as it happens, it appears you'll be getting that fresh air sooner rather than later."

Ryan's spirits instantly lifted.

"The doctor and my dad were just talking, and they agree that you're ready to come out this afternoon."

Seth watched as utter relief flooded Ryan's face. But Seth had something else in store.

"Yeah, yeah it's great," Seth smiled wryly, "_But_,"

Ryan eyed Seth suspiciously. "But, what?"

"_But_, you're not going anywhere until you tell me what's going on."

"What do you mean 'what's going on?' There's very little going on."

"My point exactly, Ryan," Seth sprang.

Ryan silently groaned. He had an inkling of what was coming.

Seth took a seat on the chair like a physiatrist. He drummed his fingers together superiorly and then leant his chin on his thumbs with a studious look on his face. "Now Ryan," he began, "as you know, I consider our relationship more than friendship, and more like brothership – is that even a word? Oh well! And as the second half of that brotherly bond, Ryan, I have become an expert in working out when all is not so well."

The two exchanged looks before Seth continued, "Now I know that it has something to do with Marissa and, ooh, let me think, a certain marriage proposal to Marissa that Marissa has no idea about?" Seth said quickly, stringing the words together. Then he gave Ryan a beckoning look, waiting for his inevitable response.

This time Ryan's groan was let out. He had tried not to tell Seth about the ring, especially Seth, because… well he's not exactly one for keeping secrets or giving advise. Still, Ryan contemplated; it would hopefully relieve some of the tension that he felt in his veins. He exhaled loudly. "Okay," he began.

"I'm all ears," Seth added.

"I lost the ring," he said it so bluntly, Seth took a stagger back.

"You, uh, you what now?"

"I lost the ring."

"Yeah, I heard you the first time, uh, how the hell did you manage that?"

Ryan sighed sorrowfully, "I was such an ass. I lost it in the car." He then went on to explain the situation.

"Dude, that's painful. How much did it cost?"

Ryan looked at Seth and frowned. He had obviously missed the point, "It doesn't matter how much it cost. That thing was…" Ryan paused and got lost in a sorry realisation, "… it was … a symbol." He said it quietly, almost breathlessly.

They sat in silence for a while, both thinking deeply. Then Seth raised a cheeky eyebrow, "Yeah… so how much _did_ it cost?"

"_Seth! _You're not helping!"

"_What!_ Can't a guy ask?" Seth said almost too innocently.

Ryan glared at him, but then lowered his head, "$4000," he coughed.

"You could have bought a couple of wife-beaters with that," Seth whistled.

Ryan couldn't help but smile briefly. There was something about Seth's manner that humoured him even in the worst of times, "Yeah. But like I said, it's not about the money. That thing was supposed to represent everything that we had survived. Losing it is like… losing everything we've built." Ryan bit his lip.

Seth eyed Ryan. It was unlike him to be the bearer of wise words, but in this particular instance, Seth knew _exactly_ what to say. He leant in and almost whispered, a serious expression across his face, "Ryan, you don't need a piece of jewellery to prove your past."

**X**

That afternoon, Ryan lay comfortably in his own double bed, surrounded by his own four walls, overlooking the Pacific Ocean with the sweet scent of the sand in the air. Despite his emotions, it was a wonderful feeling to finally be home. Dull pain still lingered in his body, but just feeling the soft, familiar mattress under him was slowly taking that away.

Unusually, Seth's words had stuck with him that whole day. He had not been able to get them out of his head. No, he _didn't_ necessarily need the ring, but it didn't ease his guilt. He then began thinking; if it was that easy to lose something of such significance… that was how easy it was to lose Marissa as well. And he almost had. I mean, if it wasn't for him, they wouldn't even be in this mess. He would have already proposed to her by now and she would be off planning her perfect wedding, annoying him with song suggestions, and flower arrangements and… He cursed at himself and rubbed his temples. The thoughts were so insistent! As much as he urged himself not to think so rashly, he just couldn't help it. He was _such _an idiot!

At that, there came a click at the door, finally distracting Ryan from his reverie. He tilted his head and was caught momentarily offside when Marissa's slender figure stepped gingerly into the room.

Marissa stood there nervously. She had been _such_ an idiot all week. She couldn't even talk to him. She hated to think what he thought of her. When you can't even have a normal conversation with your boyfriend, you have serious issues. She remained their tentatively wrapping the straps of her bag around her hand in a way to escape her nerves. But still, something inside her was telling her there was something else… like… that Ryan was keeping something from her. That suspicion had drawn her here today, standing in front of him in the pool house that she knew like her own room.

They studied each other with passionate gazes written over their faces. They continued the stare as their secret torments swelled in their heads

"Ryan… we've gotta talk about this."

"I know," he nodded in understanding.

Ryan looked at her, taking in her endless beauty. He was nearly breathless, and momentarily forgot his woes simply by taking in her elegant frame. Marissa began to make her way over to him. He extended his hand and took Marissa's. He raised it to his lips and softly brushed them against her flawless skin. The love she felt now was almost enough to drown her guilt as she absorbed the feelings that stirred in her blood. She stood there in front of him and her heart thumped as she felt Ryan's eyes study her equally.

"Do you want to go for a walk? Get outta the house?" he asked quietly, "and we can really talk… for real this time."

Marissa drummed her fingers along the material of her bag, considering, "Yes," she answered. "That would be wonderful."

**X**

They strolled smoothly along the wooden walkway watching the graceful sun begin its decent into the ocean. A light cool breeze danced in the air, creating a chill on Marissa's arms. She rubbed them close. Ryan saw her movements and innately stripped off his jacket and draped it over her shoulders. It was a gesture that they'd both grown accustomed to. Marissa's unusual reaction to the warm Californian weather never inspired her to bring a sweater of her own. But Ryan had a distinct feeling she deliberately did that. They exchanged soft chuckles as she looked away shyly and a light blush grew on her cheeks.

"I love it when you do that," Marissa said, drawing his jacket into her body and taking in his familiar fragrance.

"Yeah," he smiled, "I do it a lot too!"

"Oh? Like at cotillion? When I was upset?"

"And then after the charity yard sale."

"Yeah," Marissa said distantly as she reflected on those moments in her life.

"My personal favourite was when you threw me in the pool," Ryan cocked his head to one side and gave her a loving smile, "and _apparently_ you were freezing."

Her eyes widened and she playfully bumped her hip against his. "Hey! I was!"

"Right! So you had _no idea_ that I would wrap one of my towels around you?"

She pursed her lips into a cheeky smile, "Well… that was a bonus."

They looked at each other sweetly, as they absorbed the fond memories.

"That was our first date wasn't it?" Ryan remembered.

"Yes… but not our first _official_ date!" she winked.

"Oh yeah, how could I forget?"

She sniggered, "That was…"

"…the best date ever," Ryan finished her sentence, and again they shared a deep moment.

"A lot happened after that didn't it?" Ryan continued, now with a glaze of sadness.

"Yeah… it did. Oliver…"

"Theresa…"

"Alex…"

Marissa paused nervously, her smiles diminished, "…Trey."

Ryan met her expression and received a painful stab through his chest, "… and then there was Trey."

Neither said a word, let alone made eye contact for an extended period.

"That was a horrible few months, wasn't it?" Ryan spoke quietly. Marissa could but nod.

"It was."

Once again, the barrier was thickening between them. They both inwardly groaned. They'd been going so well. Now they were back to square one. But Ryan was determined not to dwell on the subject and said with a slight quiver in his voice, "But we're still here aren't we? After all that."

Marissa looked at him with tears in her eyes. She was just so lucky to have him. The months following Trey's death had almost destroyed their relationship, but it seemed to have only strengthened since. Knowing this brought her back to the car accident. She had so nearly lost him forever, and it was because of her that he had nearly died.

Finally, after all this time, the confessions were ready to be revealed. She fought back the tears and choked, "I'm so sorry about the accident."

Ryan was caught completely dumbstruck. He stared at Marissa trying to make sense of what she had just said, "What are you talking about?"

She was now properly crying, "I mean, I made you so mad and I made you take your eyes off the road…" her voice struggled against the emotion to speak the words.

"No! All this happened because of _me_! Not you!" there was a lump building in his throat, "I was… I was so selfish about your illness. I shouldn't have said those horrible things." He pulled her into his chest. His lingering injury ached slightly at her weight, but it didn't matter. She cried into his shoulder and clung her arms around him. He stroked her feathery hair and kissed her tenderly on the forehead.

"I just kept thinking that… if I lost you…" she fought through her tears. His gentle touch was healing to her sadness.

"Me too," he whispered.

The sun was leaking behind the horizon, bleeding scarlet rays across the land. Ryan and Marissa stood motionless in each other's hold, slowly allowing the guilt and pain wash away.

"I love you," Ryan said, so only she could hear. Marissa lifted her head from his neck and looked into his beautiful eyes. He pulled her in closely and they were inches from a kiss when Marissa's cell phone began to buzz, indicating she had a text message.

She drew away embarrassed, "Sorry," and started to rummage through her bag.

"Oh, where is the damn thing?" she mumbled. She searched deeper into her bag looking for the silver instrument.

"Is that the bag you had the other night?" Ryan asked, trying to keep the conversation flowing.

"Uh, yeah, it is. I love it," Marissa answered, still searching, "I found it and… oh my God!"

Ryan jumped, "What? What is it?"

Marissa stared into her bag, with an expression on her face Ryan had never seen her pull before. A mix of shock, curiosity, bafflement and speechlessness was rolled into one as she continued to gawk.

"What the _hell_ is this?" she dug her hand in to pick something up. When her hand re-emerged she held between her thumb and her index finger a stunning sapphire ring, surrounded by small diamonds with a gold band.

Ryan's circulation cut off as he witnessed the miracle that had unfolded. He gazed flabbergasted at Marissa's engagement ring, the ring he thought he'd lost forever. But it wasn't lost. It had been with her this whole time. Somehow, he didn't know what kind of odds were against it, but somehow the ring had landed in Marissa's bag when it fell out of the glove box. Marissa looked at Ryan's frozen expression with extended puzzlement in her eyes.

"What?"

Ryan knew neither what to say, nor how to say it.

"I wonder whose it is?" she said, twirling the ring in her fingers. She was captivated by its glowing beauty.

Ryan swallowed, his emotions were inexpressible. It was time. "It's your's."

"Huh?"

"It's your's," he repeated.

Marissa's expression grew ever more confused, "But… I… I don't understand. I don't remember buying this!"

Ryan breathed away impending nerves, "That's because I did."

Marissa's heart began to race, "Ryan?"

At that Ryan took the ring from Marissa took it in his left hand. Then, much to Marissa's shock and astonishment he took her hand in his right and knelt down on one knee.

"Oh my God!" she thought she was going to faint.

Ryan's mind was racing. This was by far the most surreal thing he'd ever done in his life. He didn't know exactly what he was going to say, but nothing was going to stop him now. He looked up at her. "Marissa, from the moment I met you on the Cohen's driveway, I felt something for you. We've been through and survived so much together.

Tears were falling from Marissa's eyes, and she trembled lightly, as she tried to consider what was about to happen.

Ryan continued, "I've never felt this way about anyone else. I love you so much, and I promise I will always love you no matter what." He gulped, suppressing a waver in his voice, "Marissa, will you please marry me?" At that, he slipped the ring onto her delicate finger. It fitted perfectly.

Ryan stood up and looked into Marissa's gorgeous blue eyes. Now, he had no nerves, no fears, no pain. It had felt so right, and so wonderful.

Marissa was speechless. Never in her wildest dreams could she have known that he was going to do that. She turned her head to the sun, almost completely fallen, with just a few violet rays remaining. She then raised her head to the sky where she caught sight of the first glittering star of the night. At last she turned her eyes back to Ryan. She felt as if they were floating through the clouds.

"Yes," she stifled, letting more tears run down her cheeks. "Yes, Ryan, I will marry you." She gave him one of her infectious smiles and laughed.

And at that, Ryan drew Marissa into him once again and caught her lips on his and they shared the most perfect, romantic kiss ever.


End file.
